Who made the cut in Steve Delo’s charity pensions concert?

As I write, Pension Freedom Day approaches. And what better way to celebrate it than with a big charity rock concert at the Royal Albert Hall? I have in mind something like the Prince’s Trust super group nights of the mid 80s. Maybe we can get all those stars back? Imagine the set list….

Stadium

Source: Flickr

Dire Straits – Money for Nothing

(with Sting doing background vocals. Highly appropriate given this is all leading to one enormous sting by the taxman and the pensions liberation community?!)

(I want my… I want my CETV…)

 

Now look at them yo-yo’s that’s the way you do it

You take your pension with a CETV

No more workin’ – Steve Webb said I could do it

Money for nothin’ and a Lamborghini

 

Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it

Lemme tell ya us guys ain’t dumb

Maybe take an UFPLS every other Tuesday

Maybe take an UFPLS all in one!

 

I gotta pay for microwave ovens. Wife’s new kitchen delivery.

Spending spree for my girl’s engagement. I wanna pay for Sky TV.

 

Level 42 – Running in the Family

Our dad is sitting in a room

And he looks confused

I said that we’d explain it later

All day, he was solid as a rock

But by eight o’clock

He’d be signing

One night, my brother Joe and me

Saw Dad’s annuity

That had paid him since the 1990s

We knew, he was never gonna last

So we’d lose the cash

For things that we were bound to need

 

Looking back, it’s so bizarre

Who needs an annuity?

All the things we want

Like a house and brand new car

So do Joseph and Emily

We only see so far

So we all need our daddy’s cash

Looking back, it’s so bizarre

Howard Jones - Like to Get to Know You Well

(with guest vocals by the team at Pension Wise)

Like to get to know you well

Like to get to know you wellllllll

Like to get to know you well

So we can advise

We can advise together (repeats)

 

Together we can cut through pensions

Together we can work through all the myths

Together we can strip away confusion

And the scams

 

But we don’t want to talk about details

Don’t want to talk about the stuff

You really need to know to decide

 

Like to get to know you well

Like to get to know you welllllll

Like to get to know you well

So we can adviseGUIDE

We can advise GUIDE together

Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight

It’s late in the evening; she’s wondering what clothes to wear.

She puts on her make-up and brushes her long grey hair.

And then she asks me, “Do I look all right?”

And I say: “We’re just meeting an IFA tonight!”

 

We go to the meeting - the IFA turns to see

This overdressed lady that’s carrying files for me.

And then he asks me, “Are my fees all right?”

And I say, “No – but Pension Wise don’t give advice.”

 

I feel so confused because I fear

This whole thing is a sham

And the wonder of it all

Is that I just don’t realize what “attitude to risk” is

 

It’s time to go home now and I’ve got an aching head,

So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.

And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,

I say, “My darling…we’re in deep financial poo tonight.”

Encore: Paul McCartney hits the stage to tumultuous applause.

“Of course,” cries Sir Paul, “we all know this will end in a costly, painful, administratively chaotic misspelling/misbuying frenzy! So let’s sort it out together!”

Jojo was a man who thought he was a winner

Transferred to a DC shack

But he spent his cash and lost some to a fraudster

Now he wants his DB back

 

Get back, get back.

Get back to where you once belonged (repeat)

 

Sweet Loretta Martin though she’d be a goner

Dead and gone by 75

Yet now she’s 94 and still not in a care home

No money left to help survive

 

Get back, get back.

Get back to where you once belonged

Get back, get back.

Get back to where you once belonged.

Get back, Loretta!

Steve Delo is chief executive of PAN Governance and former president of the Pensions Management Institute