Richard Butcher digs through the Christmas post to find out who has been exempt from auto-enrolment

This file of letters has recently been released by a well known auto-enrolment advisor.

Dear Mr. Claus,

Thank you for your letter of 25 December.

You are correct in your assertion that seasonal workers are subject to Auto Enrolment; however, Lapland is outside of the jurisdiction of the UK Parliament and so I can advise you are exempt from having to enrol your elves.

For ever in gratitude,

Christmas

Source: Flickr

Dear Mr. Scrooge,

Thank you for your letter.

As you have not yet passed your staging date, we confirm that you do not have to retrospectively auto enrol Bob Cratchet for Christmases past.

Yours miserably,

 

Dear Mr. Truelove,

I refer to your recent letter and note your enquiry.

Having checked the legislation it’s our view that your twelve leaping lords are self employed and, as a consequence, you are correct that they will not have to be auto enrolled by your fiancé.

Yours with love,

 

Dear Mr. Lucas,

I refer to your call earlier.

I note that the stormtroopers you mention were employed in a galaxy a long long time ago. This being the case, they need only be auto enrolled if the empire succeeds in striking back.

May the force be with you,

 

Dear Mr. Reindeer,

Thank you for calling us about Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen.

We understand that you are collectively employed to pull a sleigh and that you are constituted as a partnership. This being the case, we confirm you are not subject to auto enrolment.

Yours with a red nose, 

 

Dear Drs. Who, Who, Who, Who, Who, Who, Who, Who, Who, Who, Who, Who and Who,

You are correct that employed assistants may be subject to auto enrolment; however, we note (a) it is difficult to assess whether they were always below state pension age at the various times they worked with you, and (b) that they worked gratis. For the latter reason in particular it is our view that you are exempt from having to auto enrol them.

Yours for all time,

 

Dear Mr. Scrooge,

Thank you for your further enquiry.

We confirm that you will have to pay the minimum employer contribution of 1% of earnings in respect of Mr. Crachet for the present Christmas.

Yours sincerely,

 

Dear James,

Thank you for calling us with your question.

Riding on your snowman’s back could indeed be an act of employment; however, as walking in the air is clearly a fanciful activity we do not believe you have to auto enrol him.

Kind regards,

 

Dear Clarence,

Thank you for outlining your particular unusual situation.

Having consulted with my colleagues we are of the opinion that as George Bailey doesn’t, strictly, exist in the alternative version of reality where he was never born, his banking employer is not required to auto enrol him in that version of reality.

We hope you have a wonderful life.

 

Dear Mr. Shumaker,

We refer to your recent email.

We understand that the elves you employed in your cobblers business were paid in kind with clothes, and that these clothes had a value of less than £486 a month. This being the case we believe you are exempt from auto enrolling them.

It turned out Grimm again!

 

Dear Mr. Lewis,

We were somewhat surprised that you had decided to leave the old man on the moon; however, as he is clearly over state pension age, we can confirm that you are exempt from having to auto enrol him.

Never knowingly under advised,

 

Dear Mr. Scrooge,

Thank you for your third letter.

We note the extremely generous contribution you propose to pay in Christmases yet to come and confirm they exceed the proposed minima.

Thank you for the gift of the turkey.

Yours happily,

Richard Butcher is an independent trustee and the managing director of PTL